5 Simple Steps to Confidence

One of the topics that I want to touch on whenever possible in this blog is different ways in which you can build yourself up, without it being at the expense of others. As I have said before, the ability to increase your self esteem resides in your hands, its just a matter of getting the information required to make the change, and having the guts to step out and make the changes required.

Today we are going to discuss the 5 steps to building confidence as discussed by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. in his book The Magic of Thinking Big. This is one of my ultimate favourite books, and a recommendation for anyone that is looking to find a way to improve their life and being to reach their biggest goals and dreams. This is one of the first books I read in my quest to work on improving myself, and since then have read it multiple times.

Schwartz states that there are 5 steps, that if applied correctly will allow you to build your own self confidence. I want you to think about the last time that you felt you ‘failed’ at something you wanted in life. In most cases, this failure could have just as easily gone the other way if it weren’t for a lack of self confidence in the approach.

The first step he discusses is the importance of being a “front seater”. By this he means, when you attend a presentation, class, even church, where do you sit? Schwartz says “Sitting up front builds confidence. Most people sit near the back in order to be inconspicuous”. Most people gravitate to the back of the room where they can hide out unnoticed during these events. Now in earlier posts we’ve discussed that who you are is who you see yourself as, the concept of thinking yourself into being better. If this is the case, does it not make sense that sitting up front and thinking of yourself with the confidence to be right up front and centre, eye to eye with the speaker, will begin to make you feel that way?

That leads nicely into the second step – Practice making eye contact. We have all heard sayings like “the eyes are a window to the soul” and often a saying too often overused, like that one, are then shrugged off and believed to have no value… I challenge that thought. Schwartz says “Your eyes say a lot about you. Make eye contact with the person you are talking with and demonstrate your confidence to them.” Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who is staring at the ground the entire time, or looking off through the window beside them? You immediately feel as though you are dealing with someone who has no belief in what they are trying to tell you. Knowing this, why not harness this simple way to create confidence in yourself. “It not only gives you confidence. It wins you confidence too.”I believe very strongly in this statement from Schwartz. You create both an inner feeling of confidence as you build confidence in yourself, but you also portray confidence to the person you are interacting with, which in turn develops their confidence in you. Its hard not to feel confident when you know that the person you are speaking with is already confident in you as well.

The next step that Schwartz discusses is a  concept that is too often forgotten about in our society today, and that’s the use of your body language to build and portray confidence. Schwartz tells us that it is as simple as walking 25% faster everywhere that you go. He says: “Throw your shoulders back, lift up your head, move ahead just a little faster and feel self-confidence grow.” The way that you carry yourself is going to say a lot about the confidence that you have. In The Magic of Thinking Big Schwartz discusses three different groups of people that you can observe. The first group is the group that slouches, and walks slow, the second group walks at an average pace, and the third group walks like they have somewhere important to be. Observing people from these three groups heading to work in the morning, which would you believe to be the confident individual? When you slouch you illustrate to all around you that you don’t even have enough self confidence to hold your head high, not the impression you want to be giving when trying to build confidence. I challenge you to try this in your place of employment, and notice the different way that many will interact with you.

Once you’ve begun to walk fast and with purpose, the next step that Schwartz introduces is the importance of speaking up. He explains that not speaking up, whether its at a group meeting at work when they have introduced a new procedure, or while planning a charity event that you agreed to take part in. Too often you watch someone leading a meeting doing all the speaking while everyone else sits and nods, only to walk away and complain about the decisions made. When you choose not to speak up you solidify in your mind that your opinion on the matter is not worth being heard. The more often you choose to stay silent, the deeper you ingrain this belief of yourself. Schwartz says “But on the positive side, the more you speak up, the more you add to your confidence, and the easier it is to speak up the next time. Speak up. It’s a confidence-building vitamin.” As with anything else that you are learning to do in life, from walking as a young child, through to learning to drive, and onwards, practice and repetition will help you to build your skills and comfort level. Schwartz also adds that you shouldn’t be the last person to speak either, as that will build the same feeling not speaking does, you feel like a follower simply following the heard. Instead, aim to be the ice breaker. I’m not saying say the first thing that comes to your mind without putting through behind it, but when you have a valid point, take the step out of your comfort zone to speak up, and with time that comfort zone will increase.

Schwartz’s final point is one that I think is the most forgotten about, and yet one of the easiest of all of these to apply, Smile big. Have you ever noticed how much better you immediately feel when you are smiling? The body reacts believing that whatever you are facing is something you are comfortable with and even happy to be completing. Schwartz writes, “A big smile gives you confidence. A big smile beats fear, rolls away worry, defeats despondency.” Isn’t it true to state that you simply can’t remain mad at someone that smile s at you with a true, genuine smile? That’s why it is so hard to remain angry with a child… Apply this in your life and you’ll find yourself both feeling happier and more confident as well as bringing happiness and confidence to each person that you interact with in life. When you find yourself concerned, worried, nervous or afraid, put on a large, genuine smile and you will begin to feel the wave of comfort take you over.

So there you have it, 5 simple steps illustrated by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D. None of the ideas mentioned on their own is overly difficult or time consuming, but when put into action, these will create HUGE changes in your life, both on a personal level as well as in the relationships that you form at work, in your home and in your day to day lives.

The Power of Making Others Feel Imporant

I started this blog as a means of helping those who may struggle with their self image. People who are wanting to grow and learn and increase their feelings of self worth. Today however, I want to suggest a different approach…. What if we were all actively trying to help each other feel important? I know that’s a concept you would portray ‘in a perfect world’, but it has to start somewhere…. So what if we just put a small effort into making the people we are in contact with each day feel important.

In his book How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People Les Giblin discusses three ways to make people feel important. If we were to make a point of applying these concepts to our day to day lives, imagine how much it could enrich our relationships. Don’t you think that if you are making everyone else feel better, they in turn will likely make you feel better about yourself as well? Its one big circle, creating a win, win, however that circle has to have a starting point.

The first concept he presents is that you have to actually think that the person you are speaking with is important. He proposes the idea that even if you try to act like you feel that person is important to you, unless you truly believe it deep down then it won’t genuinely come across. Les Giblin states: “You can’t make the other fellow feel important in your presence if you secretly feel that he is a nobody”. You need to make a point of actively changing the way that you think about the people around you.

This concept may be difficult if it’s not something that you’ve made a point of doing. We live in a society where we are raised believing that you simply have to watch your words and actions, but we weren’t taught how to retrain our thoughts. Start by finding something about this person you can truly respect or compliment. Even the smallest point works.

Maybe this person you deal with annoys you do to the fact that they talk constantly, always interrupt, and lack on tact, however that same person might have a great sense of style that you can compliment them on. Another example might be that really shy person working administration at your office. This person is very quiet, soft spoken. She rarely voices her opinion on anything, so you don’t really know her on that level enough to compliment. However, you have experienced her incredible work ethic and organizational skills through your interactions with her at work each and every day.

If we can find that one point to compliment for each person, and focus on that, we can create that feeling of importance and respect in our minds when we are communicating with them. In turn, we are able to then genuinely express to them that we find them to be important. Imagine how much higher your feeling of self worth would be when interacting with someone that you know truly views you in that high regard.

The next concept that Les Giblin presents in his book is that in order to make people feel important, we need to ‘notice’ people. The act of being noticed goes leaps and bounds to providing someone with the pat on the back and the ego boos they need to increase their own self esteem.

Giblin states: “When someone “notices” us, he pays us a big compliment. He is saying that he recognizes our importance. He gives a big boost to our morale. We become friendlier, more cooperative and actually work harder”. Work harder?  How interesting is it that something as simple as making a point of noticing that employee could very well instill a higher degree of work ethics.

This isn’t saying you have to buy gifts for everyone that you come in contact with. The act of noticing someone can be as simple as a hello or a smile. Picture this with me, if you will: You wake up one morning to find that the power had gone out so your alarm hadn’t gone off. As you are rushing to get out the door you stub your toe. You get dressed only to find a stain you had never noticed on your favourite shirt. Rushing out the door you drop your purse, spilling the contents across your front hallway. Finally getting everything together and arriving at your favourite coffee shop, you find yourself greeted with a big smile from the woman that you see there each and every morning, greeting you with an enthusiastic good morning.

Sure, she wasn’t able to fix all the events of the morning, but did that smile not brighten your day? It is that exact feeling that we should be spreading to all those that we are in contact with in our lives. It costs you nothing financially, and is very little inconvenience, but can make a HUGE difference in the life of the person that you are reaching out to.

The last concept that Giblin presents is not to lord it over other people. We are all human, and all have the same needs and desires when it comes to our basic human instincts. That means that we too need to feel important. Watch that you are not using your attempts to make other people feel important solely for selfish means. If you are doing it to increase your own importance, which as human beings we are tempted to do, the person will see through this and realize that you are not being sincere. Giblin states “Because you are a humane being and you have the same need to feel important that everyone else does, you must watch yourself to see that you do not use this basic fact about human nature to your own disadvantage”.

If each of us were to use these techniques in our day to day lives, can you imagine the impact on all those around us? I know that stating if everyone did it would be creating an ideal world, but we have heard time and time again that we need to be the change that we wish to see in the world… So let’s start today with something as simple as making everyone we interact with feel important. I promise that you will make someone’s day!

Gender Equality

I am going to start today’s blog in a little different fashion than usual. Rather than slowly introducing a concept I am going to start with a quote from the latest book that I am reading, and then afterwards discuss it and the impact that concept has had on my life. The book is Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage by Mark Gungor. This book was recommended to me by one of my closest friends who stated that although I’m not married, it can apply to a dating relationship just as easily, and having read about half of  the book already, I agree.

“Let me go ahead and say it: Men and women are not created equal. We are pretty defensive about equality in modern culture today, and rightly so. But when I say this about men and women, I am not suggesting that men are better than women, or that women are better than men, or that one sex should be afforded more opportunity than the other. I am saying there are differences between the sexes that must be acknowledged and understood for marriages to be successful.

People who claim the sexes are equal (or the same) are well-meaning, but do both sexes an injustice by ignoring the fundamental differences in men and women. Everything from language (using “humankind” instead of “mankind”) to fashion (unisex everything) has been redesigned in an attempt to mask the ways men and women are different. There is nothing inherently wrong with those things; in fact, they may be beneficial in confronting gender bias. But when they are the result of a quest to eliminate gender distinctions, I think that is a mistake.

Certainly, both men and women should be treated as equals in terms of respect opportunity, pay, influence, and so on, but that is political or moral equality. The essential differences in the sexes are the result of the created order and are easily demonstrated scientifically. We should not ignore or try to cover up those differences. Doing so sabotages male/female relationships. We refer to each other as the “opposite” sex for good reason. “

This is a topic that was very difficult for me for a long time. Growing up I was a bit of a ‘tom boy’ and had it in my mind that anything a guy could do, I could do and better… Each day I strived to prove that there was no difference between the male population and myself (with the obvious exception of physical make up, and that one I was ok with). I was heavily involved with martial arts, where I was clear that I was to be treated no different than my male counterparts, doing the same training, tests, and going as far as sparing the same people.

After high school I went to University, once again determined to prove that being female was not going to make me any different from the males that attended the same program. At this time my friendships began to take the same approach. I became ‘one of the guys’, hitting the bars for a cold beer, deeply in love with the sport of Hockey and all it stood for. I had very few female friends, and for the most part denied understanding or wanting to get close to females because I was determined that I was ‘more like the guys’ in almost every way.

This was only intensified when shortly after entering University I got involved in the military. Here was a chance to stand alongside the guys, train alongside the guys, and prove I could hold my own. On basic training it was quickly made clear that there were guys on our course that did not believe that women should be allowed to be involved, including one instructor. I remember setting out to make it my personal mission to prove them wrong, and have been involved for some time since successfully completing that course. Once again I was in an environment where I was ‘one of the guys’.

The big turning point came when I got involved with the business I am in now. Here it was all about men AND women… about the inherent differences, especially the strengths of each gender. Suddenly being surrounded by a group of STRONG women I was opening up to the idea of getting in touch with who I was deep down. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not running around with my perfectly manicured nails, expecting my boyfriend to do all the heavy lifting or otherwise deemed ‘man’ work in the house… I have however begun to realize the emotional strengths of the female population.

Women have the ability to connect and understand emotions in ways that most men can’t even fathom, and those that can, will readily admit that they haven’t figured out. We were biologically designed to be care takers and due to this we are much more in tune with the friends and family around us, their needs, desires, thoughts, emotions. We are better at multi-tasking (Due to the actual make up of our brains! I’m not shooting any of you men down, just stating a scientific fact). Although we are slower to form friendships with the people we are exposed to, our friendships generally get deeper, with more open communication. Guys bond over doing nothing together (Take fishing as an example), but women bond over conversations.

What I am trying to get at with today’s post isn’t ‘here is my life story’, if that was the goal there would be  A LOT more written then what I put above. What I want you all to understand is that in a society where so many women feel they have to spend every day trying to be ‘a man’ to be accepted and successful, maybe its time that we embrace who we really are! We don’t have to become someone else, someone different… The someone we are is amazing, strong, unique, SPECIAL! You have the ability to take on the world and succeed at whatever you set your heart to as the person you are deep down.

I’m not saying don’t work on yourself, or don’t work towards personal growth. As you’ve seen in earlier posts I’m a huge advocate of that. I’m saying that the BEST you…. The one that is established through growth and understanding yourself, through hard work to build on your strengths and begin to conquer your weaknesses… the BEST you can do ANYTHING!!!!  You just have to start to learn to love you for who you are, not what you think that society wants you to be.

Although this was geared more towards my female readers, men this goes for you too. The male population also has its own unique strengths… for example men are FAR better at focusing on one single task at hand until its completed than men are, due to the same comparison of the make up of the brain that makes women better at multi-tasking.

Embrace who you are, strength it and nurture it. You have the ability to do amazing things.  

Friendship and Labels

Have you ever found yourself developing that ‘close, personal’ relationship with a friend that you just know will be your ‘best friend forever’, only to learn down the road that they didn’t feel even close to the same, letting the friendship slide away with time as if it had little meaning? How about that person you’ve met a couple times that always wants to spend time with you because they think you’re best buds, but you’d rather just leave it at a passing hello?

This topic is one that has interested me as of late, as I see it coming up more and more often in the books that I read. We all classify our different ‘types’ of friends based on the relationship at the time, and the level of intimacy it involves. This ‘classification’ process can cause a lot of pain and heartache if it is not completely understood…

Matthew Kelly wrote an entire book on this concept, entitled The Seven Levels of Intimacy. In it he addressed the seven different levels that he classifies the communication between two people. These levels correspond with just how much you share and are open with the person you are communicating with. His ‘Seven Levels’ are:

Level one: We share clichés

Level Two: We share facts

Level Three: We share opinions

Level Four: We share hopes and dreams

Level Five: We share feelings

Level Six: We share faults, fears and failures

Level Seven: We share our legitimate needs

He discusses how no friendship is confined to only fitting into one of these levels, but rather are fluid, moving back and forth between them as our friendship progresses. Those that you are closest to are going to have reached a much higher level than the woman you run into at the coffee shop each morning on your way to work and greet, and that is completely ok. In order to have a balanced life and group of ‘friends’ you need to have friendships that fit into all levels that are here.

He also stresses that it is important not to see these levels as a task. When you realize that you are currently sharing a Level Two friendship, for example, the goal is not to force it to progress step by step up to Level Seven. Not all friendship will be become a Level Six or Level Seven relationship, and those that do may skip steps on the way. Rather than trying to force a friendship to fit into one level or another, find what level you are at and enjoy the blessing of having someone that fits into that niche in your life.

Another important point to consider is the fact that your friend may consider your friendship on a different level than you do at this time. Maybe you have reached a Level Five point of sharing your feelings with a good friend; however you find that he or she is still sharing with you their opinions at Level Three. There is nothing wrong with this; however here is where most people get hurt. Your friendship at that point is functioning where it needs to in each of your lives. We need to learn to accept that what level you are at is not a judgment of the person that you are, but rather a reflection of the role that you fill for that individual.

In their book Grown-Up Girlfriends Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver also address this concept, but in a slightly different manner. They explain this concept in terms of baskets, and seeing what basket your friends would fall into. In their book they also offer a guideline as to how many friends the average person would have in each of these categories, giving us an idea of how many people they believe actually make it to that higher level of intimacy.

Once again the idea of being in different categories or ‘baskets’ is addressed. They explain that although its always nice to know that a friend would place you in the same ‘basket’ as you place them, however we aren’t going around announcing what basket we would place our friends in, so why would it matter. The important thing is that the friendship is there, and fills a function necessary in both of our lives, even if that function is different.

Their ‘baskets’ are:

Basket Number Three: Acquaintances (20 to 100 individuals) – People that you know by name, you usually share facts or clichés. This could be a cashier at the grocery store or the secretary at your doctor’s office.

Basket Number Two: Good Friends or Companions (5 to 20 individuals) – People that you go beyond the surface with while communicating. You share opinions and concerns with these people, maybe moving to further levels of communication at times.

Basket Number One: Know-It-All Friends (1 to 4 individuals) – People that you share your needs, feelings and further intimate connections with These friends are the heart and soul, and as a result these friendships  require more time as well as a higher level of trust and commitment. You’re more likely to walk through conflict and manage relational dynamics with these friends.

The ‘Basket’ concept used by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver is very similar to the Seven Levels of Intimacy used in Matthew Kelly’s book. Once again it is measured by the connection that you develop with these people. As you can see, even looking at the highest extremes of their guidelines, the average person who has 100 acquaintances would still only have 4 Know-it-all friends.

Fred Smith explains it just a little differently in his book You and Your Network. Rather than defining the categories based on the level of communication, he goes as far as defining them by their actual purpose and role in your life. His categories are:

1.       Our reservoir of friendship possibilities – The friendly people that we encounter in our day to day lives and activities. We nod, acknowledge them, however have not begun any type of conversation with them to truly understand who they are. They are people that you would be happy to know, and consider to be a ‘good’ person from your experiences, but you are not anxious enough about it to make the necessary effort to develop a relationship.

2.       Friends of convenience – This category includes people like your neighbours. You are there to support each other when things need done, like checking on the house and gathering mail when you are on vacation. We speak with these people, but seldom talk seriously. You will go as far as asking them how they are doing, but appreciate if they acknowledge that you don’t really want an answer, it’s more a question of courtesy than interest.

3.       Friends of mutuality – These friendships are built on a mutual ability to benefit each other. Friendships that develop in a business environment more often than not fall into this category. When the advantage gained by being friends is lost, most often the friendship just fades out. Its is based on an exchange of favour, benefits, and profits.

4.       Period friendships – These are the friendships that are established for a specific period of your life, but aren’t there to last beyond that. They are often people that are part of a mutual cause, or the same sports team. For the duration of your tournament you are establishing a friendship, but once it ends, the friendship too fades out.

5.       Deeper Friendships – These friendships relate to love. He states “Meaningful friendship is a narrow level – the small tip at the top of the acquaintance pyramid reserved for “real” friends.”

All three of these explanations go far to helping us understand that not every friend that comes into our life is going to be become one of those ‘top of the list, share your life with buddies’ and that is ok because regardless of their category, they serve their purpose in your life. Rather than attempting to analyze what category our friends have us in, let’s just feel blessed that they have come to fill their role in our life, enjoy the friendship for its specific purpose and love them for who they are. I’m not saying don’t work on your relationships, all relationships require some degree of work and effort, however we can’t force our friendships to be something they are not, or we are setting ourselves up for hurt.

I’m going to leave you with this challenge…. Consider the friendships in your life, and the blessings that they bring to you each and every encounter, whether it’s a smile from an acquaintance, or that close friend that was there to hug you as you cried… Remember these moments, cherish these moments, and pour your heart into the people in your lives…

Fear Buttons

I was recently reading a book called Grown-Up Girlfriends by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver when I came across a section they referred to as our ‘fear buttons’. I thought this was an interesting concept and way of looking at the fears in our lives, and wanted to share it with all of you.

The idea behind ‘fear buttons’ is that each of us has specific triggers, or buttons, that cause us to back into habitual reactions due to reactions of fear. If we are able to recognize what our individual triggers are , then we have the ability to work on overcoming that fear and having a better control over our emotional reaction to those situations.

Growing up I was always a ‘tom boy’ and ‘tough stuff’ so I had convinced myself that I fear nothing and nothing could get in my way. Reading this book I realized that even that notion is in itself a depiction of my ‘fear button’ coming through.

I’m not going to list all of the examples they had, as there were a couple pages of different examples, but I will use a few from the book to share with you the idea they were presenting. Each ‘fear button’ can be identified by a certain set of emotional feelings that arise from the situation. For example, if your ‘fear button’ is Rejection then your fear may sound like “My friend doesn’t want me; my friend doesn’t need me; I’m not necessary in this relationship; I feel unwanted”. Due to this in any situation where a friend my portray something that makes you feel is their way of saying they no longer need you or want you around, this ‘fear button’ is in turn pressed.

Another example of a ‘fear button’, and one that I struggle with a lot, is Intimacy. That fear sounds like “I am afraid of opening up emotionally to my friend; I will be hurt emotionally if I allow my friend past my walls”. Due to this particular fear being so deeply embedded in my way of thinking, I realized I was hindering my ability to build close, lasting friendships, because they minute they got close, I pushed them away, or ran the other way.

A couple other examples that are common are:
Abandonment – “I will be alone; my friend will ultimately leave me; I will be left without any friends; my friend won’t be committed to me or long; I will be deserted”
Inferiority – “Everyone else is better than I am; I am less valuable or important than others”

When these ‘fear buttons’ are pressed, we have internal reactions that we habitually fall back on, and in those lies the second key to moving past our fear buttons. If we are able to realize how we react and in turn start gaining some control over it, we can keep ourselves from causing negative situations due to habitual reaction. They also had a large list of common reactions to our ‘fear buttons’ in the same way that they had listed the ‘fear buttons’ themselves.

The one that I am most guilty of, and am working on controlling more, is the reaction of Numbing Out. Their explanation of Numbing out is “I become devoid of emotion, or I have no regard for my friend’s needs or troubles”. As you can see, these two go rather hand in hand… If I am afraid of getting too close to someone, it would make sense that I would then respond by becoming devoid of emotion…. The problem is these two have created a steady spiral in my life that I need to break free from. In order to break free I need to recognize both, not just one half of the puzzle.

Some other examples include:
Withdrawal – “I avoid others or alienate myself without resolution; I sulk or use the silent treatment”
Escalation – “My emotions spiral out of control; I argue, raise my voice, or fly into a rage”
Acting out – “I engage in negative behaviours such as drug or alcohol abuse, excessive shopping, or overeating”

As I said, I can’t list everything on here they discussed, or I would be filling this up with a complete recount of their book (which I loved)! This book is focused particularly on females and the relationships that they build with female companions, but I believe many of the concepts they share in it can easily be applied to the men in our lives as well. I highly recommend it to anyone that is looking to work on their people skills!

I leave you with one final thought today, a quote from the start of the chapter of this book: “To be a good friend, value yourself. To treasure another’s essence in your heart, you must first treasure the precious essence that is you.” – Friendship Therapy

Personal Growth

There are many different ways that one can start to find joy in each day of their lives…. From the people you associate yourself, to your favourite hobbies… from your dream house to that adorable puppy that you brought home to show you unconditional love… Each of us finds our own ways to cope, to develop the strength and courage we need each day to get up with a smile on our face and a skip in our step.

Having gotten involved in a leadership development organization myself, I have recently had my eyes opened to something that has helped me to move LEAPS AND BOUNDS beyond where I used to be and the things I used to struggle with. The association through this group is phenomenal, full of upbeat and positive individuals who light up a room when they walk in. People that truly believe in your and want the best for you in your life. The biggest turning block for me however has been the ability to be in a state of continual growth.

I have learned the value of not just settling with the person that you are, not in the negative sense of being upset that you’re something you wish you weren’t, but in the positive sense of recognizing what exactly you have the ability and power to become with a little hard work and personal commitment. For this reason I have now made it part of my daily routine to read each and every day. Not just any book either, books that are going to work on the different personality traits and improvements that I am currently focusing on improving in my life. This could be people skills, my faith, skills related to being in the business world (like tenacity, confidence, etc), whatever it is I am currently working on.

The most recent book I have read was You and Your Network by Fred Smith. This was given to me by a close personal friend and mentor who felt that I could grow and achieve further personal growth and success through the principles present in this book when he read it. This book touches on the many different networks in your life (you, your heroes, your models, your mentors, your peers, your enemies, your friends, and your family) and how each of those can be used in positive ways to help you in building yourself on a personal level.

There is one part of the book that caught my attention in particular though, touching on the very topic of today’s post, the importance of continual growth. Too often we find ourselves caught up in the Education system, and book learning… I’m not saying there is anything wrong with those streams, they have their purposes, but although they prepare you well for whatever career path you are heading down as far as the information and knowledge goes, they don’t satisfy your human need to grow personally. After all, you are by far your greatest asset!

The book quotes Sydney Harris: “Education is not a mass of facts or inert ideas, as Whitehead called them, but an attitude and appetite and approach, a frame of mind, a function of the full personality, of the will, the spirit, and the imagination as much as of the intellectual force.”

That quote demonstrates what I was missing in the education in my life. I was an ‘intelligent’ person, or so the school system stated… always a top student, great grades, promising future… but I felt like something was missing. That something was the very type of education mentioned in that quote. The type that will invoke my personality, my will, my spirit….

Maybe, rather than just settling for where we are and the ruts that we have found ourselves in… that person who wakes up to the alarm (that they hate), to go to a job (that they would rather not be at), to work to make money for someone else (that we really can’t stand), while we continually crumble about how we feel we aren’t fulfilled, that we’re tired, worn out, and getting nowhere. We’re stuck on the never ending cycle that we think will be our life… Instead why not make it something more, something exciting…

I’m not saying run out and quit your job tomorrow, you need an income to pay bills and maintain an existence in today’s society, but what about those evenings you spend in front of the television, your mind shut off as you watch the latest ‘fad’ show while eating your favourite junk food… why not take a bit of time out to do something meaningful? To grow yourself personally? To make a difference….

I’m not sure what it is for you…. Maybe you want to develop better people skills because you find most people anger you, or you anger them…. Maybe you want to further your financial skills so that you can get your finances in order and not be living paycheck to paycheck… or Maybe you want to expand your knowledge and belief in your Faith (I’m not saying you have to be religious, that’s a whole separate topic, but I will begin by adding when I started this journey in my life, I was definitely not). Whatever it is, get out there and do it!

For those of you ready to pick up the challenge, its time to find the means… maybe it’s a book that you think will help, a mentor that you can work with, or a situation that will assist you in growing (a lot of volunteer work is great for this!). Whatever it is, feel free to comment and keep me updated on the status of your personal growth, and the amazing things that it does for your life and your self esteem (not to mention your relationships with the people already in your life)

Remember, you are all amazing people, beautiful on the inside and out… You are brimming with potential, you just have to harness it… Throw your heart over the line… Take this and run with it, and you’ll be surprised by just how amazing you can be!!!